Supporting children as codependents

What does it mean to support our children? When we hear the word support what does it cue or trigger for us? Do we attach the unspoken “unconditional” in order to provide support we may have never received as a child ourselves. I know for me, support is something I can go overboard on especially since I felt I did not receive adequate support growing up. But anytime parenting styles swing to extreme the one to lose is the child. Currently I am working on having a specific kind of support for the situation and not be available in any way my child thinks they need in order to prove I am supportive. This has become more challenging lately as I have adult children and supporting them financially is not always what I am capable of, and I have wondered if I am being supportive. My counselor said you can offer emotional support and still be supportive even when you cannot offer financial support and suddenly a light bulb went off as to how I view support and give support to my children. If the support is what I am capable of in the moment, and not everything my developing child thinks they need I am handling my own boundaries better, and I am teaching my child the give and take of a healthy relationship. In doing so my child can further learn how to rely on themselves, problem solve and be supported by their mom at the same time.