As a former codependent, positive self talk did not come natural to me. Parenting positively and teaching my children positive self talk came more natural to me, but what we model to our children has great impact. What we do versus what we say is the greater of the two teachers. After my recovery, I watched my daughter struggle with many of the same issues I had–especially with bullies. In hearing about her struggles I had a choice, I could jump on the complain train and focus on the other person’s behavior toward her, or I could use this as an opportunity to teach my child how to help herself when anyone speaks to her in a way that hurts her feelings. Then reinforcing this at other opportune moments, keeps the message consistent and a life lesson and not just about certain people. Because let’s face it, some people–especially family members are in our lives and it is best to learn how to be healthy around them because we can only change ourselves. Teaching my daughter to have simple phrases she can remember and repeat to herself when feeling bullied can help her lift herself out of the challenging emotional state. Phrases like “I am proud of me” “I learn from my mistakes” “I am confident in me” “Progress not perfection” “I know when to ask for help” “I can ask for a break” “I can step away to take a breath” Writing these down on a note card that your child can have in their backpack and take with them helps them remember even when they are not around you.
Remember if you or your child is being abused please seek professional help. The information on this website is intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional help.
Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash